A Love Story of a Different Kind

Perhaps you’ve noticed many of the pictures so far have been of Duane and Bruce, but not Jerry. Or, if you remember, the Amos Boys moved quite often. Some of this was due to the Depression. Some of it was also due their parents, Roland and Gladys.

Here’s the story of Roland and Gladys and the very special love that came because of them.

Roland&Gladys1929-30

Roland & Gladys, 1929-30

In the late 1920s, Roland moved to Lansing from his hometown Corunna, Indiana. Perhaps he came for job opportunities. We don’t really know. But according to information Jerry gathered from Michigan historical documents and talking with relatives; in 1929, Roland and Gladys lived around the corner from one another. She lived at 617 Smith Ave. He lived at 1815 Beal Ave. And in 1929, they both worked at REO.

On December 21, 1929, when Gladys was 18 and Roland was 20, they headed on down to Indiana and got married.

Here’s their wedding picture. Aren’t they a handsome couple?

Roland & Gladys, Wedding, December 21, 1929

Roland & Gladys, Wedding, December 21, 1929

Unfortunately, the story now gets somewhat sensitive. Apparently, marriage wasn’t an easy thing for Roland and Gladys.

“They had a rough time together,” says Duane. “It was off and on. There were times when Dad (Roland) was there. Then there were times when he wasn’t there for a year or two. I don’t think they had a good marriage.”

“They had problems from the beginning, I think,” says Jerry. “Mom (Gladys) told me one time that they had a big blowout the day after they were married. They both were kind of stubborn.”

So there were times when the Amos Boys’ parents were separated. And there were times when they were back together. Finally, they divorced in 1947.

I’m thinking they gave it a good try, though, right?

“Well,” says Jerry, in a drawn out way. “They both had ‘other friends,’ if you know what I mean.”

So now story goes from sensitive to complicated, and we have to back up a bit.

In 1935, Roland was having trouble finding work in Lansing. He got together with an airplane pilot named Harvey Hughes and together they traveled the country selling rides to people at fairs (more on this story in months to come). According to Jerry’s research, it’s likely he was conceived during the time Roland was away.

Roland did come back when Jerry was born in 1936, but records show by 1937 he was once again living away from the family. And both Roland and Gladys were out of work.

“Mom lost her welfare when she moved out to living on the same road as her brother Ralph,” says Jerry. “I think that’s when she had to give up taking care of her boys.”

And that’s when the Amos Boys were separated.

Duane and Bruce went to live with Roland’s parents in Topeka, Indiana. They lived there for two years before coming back to live with Gladys.

Jerry, however, went to live with Gladys’s mother, Maggie Adams, and Maggie’s second husband, JR. He lived with them until he was twelve.

“It was kind of scary living with my grandfolks sometimes,” says Jerry, with a laugh. “It was nice in some ways because they provided me with more—more stuff and more attention—than probably what Bruce and Duane were getting. But on weekends they (Maggie and JR) would do a lot of boozing and fighting. I always thought it was nicer to be with Mom, Bruce and Duane. Whenever I could, I would visit them for a few days.”

Bruce, Jerry and Duane

Bruce, Jerry and Duane

You’re probably thinking this isn’t much of a love story. It certainly wasn’t for Roland and Gladys.

But what about Duane, Bruce and Jerry?

Whenever I talk to them in our conference calls about these early days, I never hear any whining or “woe is me.” I repeatedly ask them how they felt about living apart, or did they begrudge one another for getting something maybe they themselves didn’t get. I even ask if they thought of Jerry as a pain-in-the-neck, younger brother finally coming to live with them. No, they say, no they did not.

“That’s just the way it was,” they repeatedly say.

Then I think about them as adults. I mention the closeness they’ve always had with one another, and the love and respect they showed their parents, flawed as they were.

“We always have a good time when we get together,” says Bruce. “We always enjoy getting together.” (It seems this is the most schmaltz I’m going to get out of them.)

Nowadays the Amos boys don’t get together as much. Duane and Jerry live in Michigan. Bruce lives in Florida. But you should hear them on the phone—their banter, their patience with one another, their reminiscing.

I’ll let you in on it soon, because this is the real love story.

Bruce, Jerry and Duane, 1990s

Bruce, Jerry and Duane, 1990s

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34 thoughts on “A Love Story of a Different Kind

  1. WOW!!! Great story Diahann….and some of this I never knew. I knew that they visited great grandpa and grandma Amos in Indiana often, but did not know they lived with them for a while, or that they were separated from Uncle Jerry. I’ve also never heard anything about Grandma Gladys’ parents. It touches my heart to know that even though they weren’t always together and life was sometimes difficult for them, they are all wonderful men who love their families and each other. Thank you dad, Uncle Duane and Uncle Jerry for sharing your history with us!

  2. One more comment regarding the pictures….in the first picture, Scott looks a lot like grandpa Amos, in the wedding picture I only see Dave and Joel!

    And, a question, how many of us cousins have the “Amos walk” the one from having one leg slightly shorter than the other. I’ve been told that mine came from my dad and Grandpa A!

  3. I never really heard about all the troubles Grandpa and Grandma had, just that they divorced.
    All Dad (Bruce) ever said about Indiana was that he and Duane would go down for the summer and help great-grandpa in the blacksmith shop. I always figured Jerry didn’t go because he was too young. I just heard the story about Jerry living with his grandparents last Sunday when I had lunch with him and Elaine. It’s too bad the boys lived apart for so long, but maybe that is what keeps them so close now.

    I guess we have really known very little about our family’s history, so I thank you again Diahann for loving your family enough to take on this huge project for all of us!

  4. Vicki, that “Amos Walk” has helped my chiropractor maintain his standard of living for many years now. I can understand the “that’s just the way it was” attitude about the growing up years. As kids, we never questioned any of the family circumstances. And I would agree with your title Di, there is an extraordinary amount of love in the Amos Family!

  5. OK Terri, I say we keep the Amos walk/limp versus having the “butt chin”! And, I totally agree that Jerriynn does look like grandma in the wedding picture.

    • I don’t know, Vicki. I doubt the butt chin is painful like the Amos walk has gotten to be over the years. I’d go for the butt chin, or in the case of Di and me, it’s the crease in our foreheads!

      • Yes, what is up with these creases?! I have been noticing them more and more as I look in the mirror lately.

      • Buck, Di and I have always had a vertical crease in our foreheads, just above the nose. Maybe it is 2nd child syndrome.

      • Looking at the pictures of the Amos brothers, I don’t see any vertical creases in their foreheads. Maybe they are simply carriers for that particular gene, and it only manifests itself in the females.

      • Nope, the crease is not a second child syndrome. I’m the oldest and I’ve got it too – obviously from my mom Diahann. Funny, I never even noticed it until an old college boyfriend pointed it out, but now it’s pretty hard to miss.

  6. I didn’t know that Uncle Duane and Uncle Bruce went to live with their grandparents in Indiana. Did the older 2 not get to see my dad for that whole time? How long was it? Someone mentioned that we need a family reunion. I agree.

  7. I also was wondering about the two years that Duane and Bruce lived with their grandparents in Indiana. Dad (Duane), you said you remember your dad coming to see you. Did your mom also visit? You were only about 5-6 years old at the time, right?

    Dad and Uncle Bruce? Do you remember?

    • Bruce and I were in Indiana with our grandparents for about 2 years. I don’t recall seeing Mother and Jerry during those 2 years.

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